Best Cell Phones

Whoso would be a man must be a nonconformist.
Author: Ralph Waldo Emerson

Why do we have to wait for special moments to say nice things or tell people we care about them?
Author: Randy K. Milholland

Own only what you can carry with you; know language, know countries, know people. Let your memory be your travel bag.
Author: Alexander Solzhenitsyn

Why, then the world's mine oyster, Which I with sword will open.
Author: William Shakespeare

Wine makes a man more pleased with himself; I do not say that it makes him more pleasing to others.
Author: Samuel Johnson

Tech Support: "Which format are the images you send?" Customer: "Rectangular, 15x11 centimeters."
This is the joke from a category: Computer jokes

"This little computer," said the sales clerk, "will do half of your job for you." Studying the machine, the senior VP said, "Fine, I'll take two."
This is the joke from a category: Computer jokes

Q: What do you call a series of FDIV instructions on a Pentium? A: Successive approximations.
This is the joke from a category: Computer jokes

This truck driver hauling a tractor-trailer load of computers stops for a beer. As he approaches the bar, he sees a big sign on the door saying: "Nerds Not Allowed -- Enter At Your Own Risk!" He goes in and sits down. The bartender comes over to him. "You smell kind of nerdy. What do you do for a living?" "I drive a truck, and the smell is just from the computers I'm hauling." "Okay, truck drivers are not nerds," he says and serves him a beer. As he is sipping his beer, a skinny guy walks in with tape around his glasses, a pocket protector with twelve kinds of pens and pencils, and a belt at least a foot too long. The bartender, without saying a word, pulls out a shotgun and blows the guy away. The truck driver is totally shocked. "Why did you do that?" "Not to worry, the nerds are overpopulating Silicon Valley and are in season now. You don't even need a license." r The truck driver finishes his beer, gets back in his truck, and heads back onto the freeway. Suddenly, he veers to avoid an accident, and the load shifts. The back door breaks open and computers spill out all over the freeway. He jumps out and sees a crowd already forming, grabbing up the computers.They are all engineers, accountants, and programmers wearing the nerdiest clothes he has ever seen! He can't let them steal his whole load. So, remembering what happened in the bar, he pulls out his gun and starts blasting away, felling several of them instantly. A highway patrol officer comes zooming up and jumps out of the car screaming at him to stop. "What's wrong? I thought nerds were in season," says the truck driver. "Well, sure," says the patrolman. "But you can't bait 'em!"
This is the joke from a category: Computer jokes

What happened when the computer fell on the floor? It slipped a disk.
This is the joke from a category: Computer jokes