Best Cell Phones

I can't bring myself to say, 'Well, I guess I'll be toddling along.' It isn't that I can't toddle. It's just that I can't guess I'll toddle.
Author: Robert Benchley

I think people want their illusions and writers are mostly illusion. When you read their words, you read a flattened, incomplete version of the writer.
Author: Real Live Preacher

I think that I shall never see a billboard lovely as a tree. Perhaps, unless the billboards fall, I'll never see a tree at all.
Author: Ogden Nash

I truly feel that there are as many ways of loving as there are people in the world and as there are days in the life of those people.
Author: Mary S. Calderone

I used to think of all the billions of people in the world, and of all those people, how was I going to meet the right ones? The right ones to be my friends, the right one to be my husband. Now I just believe you meet the people you're supposed to meet.
Author: Diane Frolov and Andrew Schneider

Father: How do you like going to school? Son: The going bit is fine, as is the coming home bit too, but I'm not too keen on the time in-between!
This is the joke from a category: School jokes

Teacher: That's quite a cough you have there, what are you taking for it? Pupil: I don't know teacher. What will you give me?
This is the joke from a category: School jokes

I failed every subject except for algebra. How did you keep from failing that? I didn't take algebra!
This is the joke from a category: School jokes

Father: I hear you skipped school to play football Son: No I didn't, and I have the fish to prove it!
This is the joke from a category: School jokes

Teacher: When you yawn, your supposed to put your hand to your mouth! Pupil: What?, and get bitten!
This is the joke from a category: School jokes