Best Cell Phones

I'm just trying to make a smudge on the collective unconscious.
Author: David Letterman

I'm not worried about the bullet with my name on it... just the thousands out there marked 'Occupant.'
Author: Unknown

Imagination is the beginning of creation. You imagine what you desire, you will what you imagine and at last you create what you will.
Author: George Bernard Shaw

I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it.
Author: Mae West

How can you come to know yourself? Never by thinking, always by doing. Try to do your duty, and you'll know right away what you amount to.
Author: Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads, "For Women Only." Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in. The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. "We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It's easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what's inside." They start going up and on the first floor the sign reads, "All the men on this floor are short and plain." The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor. The sign on the second floor reads, "All the men here are short and handsome." Still, this isn't good enough, so the friends continue on up. They reach the third floor and the sign reads, "All the men here are tall and plain." They still want to do better, and so, knowing there nare still two floors left, they continue on up. On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect. "All the men here are tall and handsome." The women get all excited and are about to go in when they realize that there is still one floor left. Wondering what they would be missing, they head on up to the fifth floor. On the fifth floor they find a sign that reads, "There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman."
This is the joke from a category: Women jokes

What Do you tell a woman with two black eyes ? Nothing, you told her twice.
This is the joke from a category: Women jokes

Why did the women cross the road? Well thats not the point what is she doing out of the kitchen?!!!
This is the joke from a category: Women jokes

Women are like computers -- even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.
This is the joke from a category: Women jokes

One woman to another at a singles bar: "I'm not as optimistic about relationships as I used to be. These days, when I meet a man, I ask myself, Is this the guy I want my children to spend every other weekend with?"
This is the joke from a category: Women jokes