Best quotes to send by SMS
Terry Pratchett He says gods like to see an atheist around. Gives them something to aim at.
Author: Terry Pratchett

Henry Fielding He that can heroically endure adversity will bear prosperity with equal greatness of the soul; for the mind that cannot be dejected by the former is not likely to be transported without the latter.
Author: Henry Fielding

Benjamin Franklin He that falls in love with himself will have no rivals.
Author: Benjamin Franklin

Benjamin Franklin He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else.
Author: Benjamin Franklin

American Proverb He that lives on hope will die fasting.
Author: American Proverb

The best jokes to send by SMS
Military jokes Q. "Why does the Navy put Marines on board ships?" A. "Because sheep would be too obvious"
This is the joke from a category: Military jokes

Military jokes Q: How many Honor Guards does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 22, one to screw it in, 21 to shoot the bulb.
This is the joke from a category: Military jokes

Military jokes A destroyer pulled into a foreign port, and put down maximum liberty. The skeleton crew didn't notice a chimpanzee, escaped from a nearby civilian transport, crawled up the ropes and up to the smokestack. Down the stack, it made its way into the engine room. It came across a power panel opened up for maintenance, couldn't read the warning signs, and with a bright blue blast shorted out the ship's electrical system, and plunged the ship into darkness. A little bit later, two junior Hull Technicians wander down with their flashlights, looking for the problem. They come upon the blackened body of the chimp. They shine their flashlights on its long, burnt arms. They look at each other. They highlight its short legs and odd feet. They look at each other. Finally one says, "Well, it's too hairy to be an Electrician, the legs are too short for a Hull Tech, and there would be more tatoos on a Bo'su n. Call the wardroom, see if one of the duty officers is missing."
This is the joke from a category: Military jokes

Military jokes Soldier Ivanov was ordered to peel a barrel of potatos. - In this day and age, the army should have a machine to peel potatos, complains Ivanov. - Absolutely, answered the sergeant. And you are its latest model.
This is the joke from a category: Military jokes

Military jokes Q: What do Saddam Hussein and General Custer have in common ? A: They both want to know where the hell those Tomahawks are coming from !
This is the joke from a category: Military jokes