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Best quotes to send by SMS
He says gods like to see an atheist around. Gives them something to aim at.Author: Terry Pratchett
He that can heroically endure adversity will bear prosperity with equal greatness of the soul; for the mind that cannot be dejected by the former is not likely to be transported without the latter.Author: Henry Fielding
He that falls in love with himself will have no rivals.Author: Benjamin Franklin
He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else.Author: Benjamin Franklin
He that lives on hope will die fasting.Author: American Proverb
The best jokes to send by SMS
Q. "Why does the Navy put
Marines on
board ships?"
A. "Because sheep would be too obvious"This is the joke from a category: Military jokes
Q: How many Honor Guards does it take to
screw in a light bulb?
A: 22, one to screw it in, 21 to shoot the
bulb.This is the joke from a category: Military jokes
A destroyer pulled into a foreign port, and
put down maximum
liberty. The skeleton crew didn't notice a
chimpanzee, escaped from a
nearby civilian transport, crawled up the ropes
and up to the
smokestack. Down the stack, it made its way into the
engine room. It came across
a power panel opened up for
maintenance, couldn't read the warning
signs, and with a bright blue blast
shorted out the ship's electrical
system, and plunged the ship into
darkness.
A little bit later, two junior Hull Technicians
wander down with their
flashlights, looking for the problem. They come
upon the blackened body
of the chimp. They shine their flashlights
on its long, burnt arms.
They look at each other. They highlight its
short legs and odd feet. They
look at each other. Finally one says,
"Well, it's too hairy to be an
Electrician, the legs are too short
for a Hull Tech, and there would be
more tatoos on a Bo'su
n. Call the wardroom, see if one of the duty
officers is
missing."This is the joke from a category: Military jokes
Soldier Ivanov was ordered to peel a
barrel of potatos.
- In this day and age, the army should have a
machine to peel potatos,
complains Ivanov.
- Absolutely,
answered the sergeant. And you are its latest
model.This is the joke from a category: Military jokes
Q: What do Saddam Hussein and General Custer
have in
common ?
A: They both want to know where the hell those
Tomahawks are coming
from !This is the joke from a category: Military jokes