Best Cell Phones

We can't take any credit for our talents. It's how we use them that counts.
Author: Madeleine L'Engle

The direction in which education starts a man will determine his future life.
Author: Plato

Never tell a man you can read him through and through; most people prefer to be thought enigmas.
Author: Marchioness Townsend

We do not know, in most cases, how far social failure and success are due to heredity, and how far to environment. But environment is the easier of the two to improve.
Author: J. B. S. Haldane

We don't bother much about dress and manners in England, because as a nation we don't dress well and we've no manners.
Author: George Bernard Shaw

Q: Why did the turkey cross the road? A: To prove he wasn't chicken.
This is the joke from a category: Bird jokes

First boy: Are you having a party for your birthday? Second boy: No, I'm having a witch do. First boy: What's a witch do? Second boy: She flies around on a broomstick casting spells.
This is the joke from a category: Birthday jokes

There once was a blind man who decided to visit Texas. When he arrived on the plane, he felt the seats and said, "Wow, these seats are big!" The person next to him answered, "Everything is big in Texas." When he finally arrived in Texas, he decided to visit a bar. Upon arriving in the bar, he ordered a beer and got a mug placed between his hands. He exclaimed, "Wow these mugs are big!" The bartender replied, "Everything is big in Texas." After a couple of beers, the blind man asked the bartender where the bathroom was located. The bartender replied, "Second door to the right." The blind man headed for the bathroom, but accidentally tripped over and skipped the second door. Instead, he entered the third door, which lead to the swimming pool and fell into the pool by accident. Scared to death, the blind man started shouting, "Don't flush, don't flush!"
This is the joke from a category: Blind jokes

A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a new blonde girl painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket. Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall. She showed him the instructions on the tin, "For best results, put on two coats".
This is the joke from a category: Blonde jokes

The Long Walk Home by Miss D. Buss
This is the joke from a category: Book title jokes