Best Cell Phones

If I make a record I love, then somebody will like it. Maybe not everybody, but that won't matter.
Author: Norah Jones

When I pass, speak freely of my shortcomings and my flaws. Learn from them, for I'll have no ego to injure.
Author: Aaron McGruder

When I see the elaborate study and ingenuity displayed by women in the pursuit of trifles, I feel no doubt of their capacity for the most herculean undertakings.
Author: Julia Ward Howe

True repentance means making amends with the person when at all possible.
Author: Lawana Blackwell

When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not.
Author: Mark Twain

Why is a burning candle like being thirsty ? Beacause a little water ends both of them !
This is the joke from a category: Christmas jokes

Saddam Hussein calls President Clinton and tells him, "Bill, I had a wonderful dream last night. I could see America, the whole beautiful country, and on each house I saw a banner." "What did it say on the banners?" Clinton asks. Saddam replies, "Allah is god, god is Allah." Clinton says, "You know, Saddam, I am really happy you called. Last night I had a similar dream. I could see all of Baghdad, and it was more beautiful than ever. It had been rebuilt completely, and on each house flew an enormous banner." "What could you see on the banners?" Saddam asks. Clinton replies, "I don't know. I can't read Hebrew."
This is the joke from a category: Clinton jokes

How do you know a Brigham Young student's been mowing the lawn? The welcome mat is destroyed.
This is the joke from a category: College jokes

Why do cows wear bells around their necks? Because their horns don't work.
This is the joke from a category: Cow jokes

Teacher: When do astronauts eat? Pupil: At launch time!
This is the joke from a category: Cowboy jokes