Best quotes to send by SMS

Men are not punished for their sins, but by them.
Author: Kin Hubbard
Men are the only animals that devote themselves, day in and day out, to making one another unhappy. It is an art like any other. Its virtuosi are called altruists.
Author: H. L. Mencken
Men do not care how nobly they live, but only how long, although it is within the reach of every man to live nobly, but within no man's power to live long.
Author: Seneca
It is better to offer no excuse than a bad one.
Author: George Washington
It has yet to be proven that intelligence has any survival value.
Author: Arthur C. Clarke
The best jokes to send by SMS

What do you give a sick bird ?
Tweetment !
This is the joke from a category: Bird jokes
What kind of bird opens doors ?
A kiwi !
This is the joke from a category: Bird jokes
What do you get if you cross a parrot with a
woodpecker ?
A bird that talks in morse code !
This is the joke from a category: Bird jokes
What do you get if your budgie flies into the
blender ?
Shredded Tweet !
This is the joke from a category: Bird jokes
Why did the chicken cross the basketball court
?
He heard the referee calling fowls
This is the joke from a category: Bird jokes