Best Cell Phones

People seldom become famous for what they say until after they are famous for what they've done.
Author: Cullen Hightower

People want economy and they will pay any price to get it.
Author: Lee Iacocca

People who go broke in a big way never miss any meals. It is the poor jerk who is shy a half slug who must tighten his belt.
Author: Robert Heinlein

People who learn to control inner experience will be able to determine the quality of their lives, which is as close as any of us can come to being happy.
Author: Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.
Author: Bob Hope

What happens if you put the Energizer Bunny's batteries in backwards? He keeps coming and coming and coming...
This is the joke from a category: Dirty jokes

What are the two greatest lies? "The check is in the mail," and "I promise I won't cum in your mouth."
This is the joke from a category: Dirty jokes

What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? Hold unto your nuts-This is no ordinary Blow Job!
This is the joke from a category: Dirty jokes

Are birth control pills deductible? Only if they don't work.
This is the joke from a category: Dirty jokes

One day a man was sleeping and the neighbor's little girl entered his house, woke him up and said, "What is that between your legs?" He replied that is "my bird." He went back to sleep. She came back later and said, "What's that furry stuff around your bird?" He replied that's "my nest." So he went back to sleep. She came back later. "What's those two things under it?" He said those are "the eggs." She said, "Okay, can I play with your bird,and he said "ok." When he woke up later, he noticed that he was in the hospital. He saw the little girl and asked, "what happened?" She said, "When I was playing with your bird he spit in my eye so I chopped off his head, burnt down his nest and busted his eggs!"
This is the joke from a category: Dirty jokes