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Ignorance of the law excuses no man: Not that all men know the law, but because 'tis an excuse every man will plead, and no man can tell how to refute him.
Author: John Selden

Ill fares the land, to hast'ning ill a prey, Where wealth accumulates, and men decay; Princes and Lords may flourish, or may fade: A breath can make them, as a breath has made; but a bold peasantry, their country's pride, When once destroyed can neve
Author: Oliver Goldsmith

I'm going to a special place when I die, but I want to make sure my life is special while I'm here.
Author: Payne Stewart

I'm just trying to make a smudge on the collective unconscious.
Author: David Letterman

I'm not worried about the bullet with my name on it... just the thousands out there marked 'Occupant.'
Author: Unknown

What part of a football pitch smells nicest ? The scenter spot !
This is the joke from a category: Sport jokes

What does a footballer and a magician have in common ? Both do hat tricks !
This is the joke from a category: Sport jokes

Why did a footballer take a piece of rope onto the pitch ? He was the skipper !
This is the joke from a category: Sport jokes

Why didn't the dog want to play football ? It was a boxer !
This is the joke from a category: Sport jokes

Why were the two managers sitting around sketching crockery before the start of the game ? It was a cup draw !
This is the joke from a category: Sport jokes