Best Cell Phones

My punishment is greater than I can bear
Author: Bible

Keep cool and you command everybody.
Author: Louis de Saint-Just

My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.
Author: Rodney Dangerfield

Nancy Reagan fell down and broke her hair.
Author: Johnny Carson

Nay, tempt me not to love again: There was a time when love was sweet; Dear Nea! had I known thee then, Our souls had not been slow to meet! But oh! this weary heart hath run So many a time the rounds of pain, Not even for thee, thou lovely one! Wo
Author: Sir Thomas More

Three blondes are stranded on an island. A fairy comes along and says that she will grant each person a wish. So the first blonde says she wants to be really smart so she digs and finds a cell phone and calls the Army. The second blonde says that she wants to be even smarter so she finds a flair and sets it off. The third blonde says that she wants to be even smarter than both of them, so the fairy changes her hair color to black and she says," Let's go over the bridge."
This is the joke from a category: Blonde jokes

Two bowling teams, one of all blondes and one of all brunettes, charter a double-decker bus for a weekend bowling tournament in Atlantic City. The brunette team rides in the bottom of the bus. The blonde team rides on the top level. The brunette team down below is having a great time, when one of them realizes she doesn't hear anything from the blondes upstairs. She decides to go up and investigate. When the Brunette reaches the top, she finds all the Blondes frozen in fear, staring straight ahead. She says, 'What the heck's goin' on up here? We're havin' a grand time downstairs!' One of the blondes looks up and says, 'Yeah, but you've got a driver!'
This is the joke from a category: Blonde jokes

A brunette doing laundry asked her blonde friend to help her find a match for her sock. The blonde replied, ''What for? Are you going to set it on fire!''
This is the joke from a category: Blonde jokes

A blond guy and a brunette girl were happily married and about to have a baby. One day, the wife started having contractions, so the husband rushed her to the hospital. He held her hand as she went through a trying birth. In the end, there were two little baby boys. The blond guy turned to his wife and angrily said, "All right, who's the other father!?!"
This is the joke from a category: Blonde jokes

Q: Why do brunettes know so many blonde jokes? A: Gives 'em something to do on Saturday night!
This is the joke from a category: Blonde jokes