Best quotes to send by SMS

I've always found paranoia to be a perfectly defensible position.
Author: Pat Conroy
I am a man, and whatever concerns humanity is of interest to me.
Author: Terence
I've known what it is to be hungry, but I always went right to a restaurant.
Author: Ring Lardner
If you wouldn't write it and sign it, don't say it.
Author: Earl Wilson
Joel: That's the movies, Ed. Try reality.
Ed: No thanks.
Author: Ellen Herman
The best jokes to send by SMS

How does Frankenstein sit in his chair?
Bolt upright.
This is the joke from a category: Monster jokes
What does a twelve-pound mouse say to a cat ?
'Here Kitty, kitty, kitty' !
This is the joke from a category: Mouse jokes
Q: How many
actors does it take to
screw in a light bulb?
A: 100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I
could've done
that."
This is the joke from a category: Movie and TV jokes
Q: How do you get 2 piccolos to play a
perfect unison?
A: Shoot one.
This is the joke from a category: Music jokes
Three old ladies met on the street on a very
stormy
day. The wind was so strong and loud that they had difficulty
in
hearing each other.
"It's windy," said one.
"No, it's Thursday," said the next.
"So am I," said the third.
"Let's go and have a drink!"
This is the joke from a category: Old age jokes