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I have never been hurt by anything I didn't say.
Author: Calvin Coolidge

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
Author: Mark Twain

I have no faith, very little hope, and as much charity as I can afford.
Author: Thomas H. Huxley

How we treasure (and admire) the people who acknowledge us!
Author: Julie Morgenstern

I have seen the future and it doesn't work.
Author: Robert Fulford

Cheapskate Republicans buy an artificial Christmas tree. Tight-fisted Democrats buy a real tree, but they wait until the week before Christmas when the lots lower their prices. Green Democrats buy a real tree with roots, and then replant it after New Years.
This is the joke from a category: Political jokes

Q: How many republicans does it take to raise your taxes? A: None. The democrats do that.
This is the joke from a category: Political jokes

A Republican and a Democrat were walking down the street when they came to a homeless person. The Republican gave the homeless person his business card and told him to come to his business for a job. He then took twenty dollars out of his pocket and gave it to the homeless person. The Democrat was very impressed, and when they came to another homeless person, he decided to help. He walked over to the homeless person and gave him directions to the welfare office. He then reached into the Republican's pocket and gave the homeless person fifty dollars.
This is the joke from a category: Political jokes

Q: What is the only thing worse than an incompetent liberal President? A: A competent liberal President.
This is the joke from a category: Political jokes

Q: How many helicopters does it take for White House aides to go play a round of golf? A: Depends on how many were photographed.
This is the joke from a category: Political jokes