Best quotes to send by SMS

Ignorance gives one a large range of probabilities.
Author: George Eliot
Ignorance of the law excuses no man: Not that all men know the law, but because 'tis an excuse every man will plead, and no man can tell how to refute him.
Author: John Selden
Ill fares the land, to hast'ning ill a prey,
Where wealth accumulates, and men decay;
Princes and Lords may flourish, or may fade:
A breath can make them, as a breath has made;
but a bold peasantry, their country's pride,
When once destroyed can neve
Author: Oliver Goldsmith
I'm going to a special place when I die, but I want to make sure my life is special while I'm here.
Author: Payne Stewart
I'm just trying to make a smudge on the collective unconscious.
Author: David Letterman
The best jokes to send by SMS

Q: How do the Dallas Cowboys spend their first
week at spring
training?
A: Studying their Miranda Rights.
This is the joke from a category: Sport jokes
The schoolteacher was taking her first golfing
lesson.
"Is the word spelt p-u-t or p-u-t-t?'' she asked the
instructor.
"P-u-t-t is correct,'' he replied.
"Put means
to place a thing where you want it. Putt means merely a
vain
attempt to do the same thing."
This is the joke from a category: Sport jokes
A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting
one
morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.
Engineer: What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15
minutes!
Doctor: I don't know, but I've never seen such
ineptitude!
Pastor: Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a
word with him.
[dramatic pause] Hi George. Say, what's with that
group ahead of us?
They're rather slow, aren't they?
George:
Oh, yes, that's a group of blind fire fighters. They lost
their
sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let
them play for free anytime.
The group was silent for a moment.
Pastor: That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for
them
tonight.
Doctor: Good idea. And I'm going to contact
my ophthalmologist buddy
and see if there's anything he can do for
them.
Engineer: Why can't these guys play at night?
This is the joke from a category: Sport jokes
Golfer: "I've played so poorly all day; I
think I'm going to go drown myself in that lake."
Caddy: "I doubt
you could keep your head down that long."
This is the joke from a category: Sport jokes
Golfer: "Caddy,
do you think it is a sin to
play golf on Sunday?"
Caddy: "The way you play, sir, it's a sin any
day of the
week!"
This is the joke from a category: Sport jokes