Best quotes to send by SMS
George Eliot Ignorance gives one a large range of probabilities.
Author: George Eliot

John Selden Ignorance of the law excuses no man: Not that all men know the law, but because 'tis an excuse every man will plead, and no man can tell how to refute him.
Author: John Selden

Oliver Goldsmith Ill fares the land, to hast'ning ill a prey, Where wealth accumulates, and men decay; Princes and Lords may flourish, or may fade: A breath can make them, as a breath has made; but a bold peasantry, their country's pride, When once destroyed can neve
Author: Oliver Goldsmith

Payne Stewart I'm going to a special place when I die, but I want to make sure my life is special while I'm here.
Author: Payne Stewart

David Letterman I'm just trying to make a smudge on the collective unconscious.
Author: David Letterman

The best jokes to send by SMS
Sport jokes Q: How do the Dallas Cowboys spend their first week at spring training? A: Studying their Miranda Rights.
This is the joke from a category: Sport jokes

Sport jokes The schoolteacher was taking her first golfing lesson. "Is the word spelt p-u-t or p-u-t-t?'' she asked the instructor. "P-u-t-t is correct,'' he replied. "Put means to place a thing where you want it. Putt means merely a vain attempt to do the same thing."
This is the joke from a category: Sport jokes

Sport jokes A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. Engineer: What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes! Doctor: I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude! Pastor: Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him. [dramatic pause] Hi George. Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they? George: Oh, yes, that's a group of blind fire fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime. The group was silent for a moment. Pastor: That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight. Doctor: Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them. Engineer: Why can't these guys play at night?
This is the joke from a category: Sport jokes

Sport jokes Golfer: "I've played so poorly all day; I think I'm going to go drown myself in that lake." Caddy: "I doubt you could keep your head down that long."
This is the joke from a category: Sport jokes

Sport jokes Golfer: "Caddy, do you think it is a sin to play golf on Sunday?" Caddy: "The way you play, sir, it's a sin any day of the week!"
This is the joke from a category: Sport jokes