Best Cell Phones

I have not slept one wink.
Author: William Shakespeare

I have the worst memory ever so no matter who comes up to me - they're just, like, 'I can't believe you don't remember me!" I'm like, 'Oh Dad I'm sorry!'
Author: Ellen DeGeneres

I hope this has taught you kids a lesson: kids never learn.
Author: Matt Groening

I just never let anything bother me, man. I know myself really well. Nobody's opinion of me can shake my opinion of myself.
Author: Ruben Studdard

I knew someone had to take the first step and I made up my mind not to move.
Author: Rosa Parks

Three Republicans walk into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve Republicans here." The Republicans say, "That's OK...We don't serve you either.
This is the joke from a category: Political jokes

If the State of the Union is really "the best it's ever been" Why do we "need" dozens of new government programs to fix it!
This is the joke from a category: Political jokes

Q: How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: Four, one to change it and the other three to deny it.
This is the joke from a category: Political jokes

Q: How many Liberal Democrats does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: None. "Well it's not really a question of should we change it or should we not change the lightbulb, but more a question of...(blah blah waffle)"
This is the joke from a category: Political jokes

A reporter cornered George W. Bush at a press conference: "Many say the only reason why you would be elected for President is due to the enormous power and influence of your father." "That notion is ridiculous!" mocked George Jr. "It doesn't matter how powerful the man is. He can only vote once!"
This is the joke from a category: Political jokes