Best Cell Phones

I have seen the future and it doesn't work.
Author: Robert Fulford

I have the heart of a child. I keep it in a jar on my shelf.
Author: Robert Bloch

I hope the leaving is joyful; and I hope never to return.
Author: Frida Kahlo

I just need enough to tide me over until I need more.
Author: Bill Hoest

I keep the subject of my inquiry constantly before me, and wait till the first dawning opens gradually, by little and little, into a full and clear light.
Author: Isaac Newton

A reporter heard Bush and one of his underlings talking in the hallway: "Mr President, how do we know for sure Iraq has weapons of mass destruction?" Pres says: "You think we're stupid boy??? We made copies of all the receipts!!"
This is the joke from a category: Political jokes

A tourist climbed out of his car in downtown Washington, DC. He saw a man standing near the curb, and asked, "Listen, I'm going to be only a couple of minutes. Would you watch my car while I run into this store?" "What?" the man huffed. "Do you realize that I am a member of the United States Senate?" "Well no," the tourist said, "I didn't realize that. But listen, I'm really in a bind so I'm going to have to trust you anyway."
This is the joke from a category: Political jokes

Why are Vampires Democrats? They want Gore in 2000.
This is the joke from a category: Political jokes

Once a madman said, "Do you know there is a war going on between India and Bharat? Another madman said, "Why should we worry, we live in Hindustan."
This is the joke from a category: Political jokes

A Congressman was once asked about his attitude toward whiskey. "If you mean the demon drink that poisons the mind, pollutes the body, desecrates family life, and inflames sinners, then I'm against it." "But if you mean the elixir of Christmas cheer, the shield against winter chill, the taxable potion that puts needed funds into public coffers to comfort little crippled children, then I'm for it." "This is my final position, and I will not compromise!"
This is the joke from a category: Political jokes