Best quotes to send by SMS

Television enables you to be entertained in your home by people you wouldn't have in your home.
Author: David Frost
Television is for appearing on - not for looking at.
Author: Noel Coward
Tell it not in Gath; publish it not in the streets of Ashkelon
Author: Bible
I'd rather get my brains blown out in the wild than wait in terror at the slaughterhouse.
Author: Craig Volk
Thanks to the Interstate Highway System, it is now possible to travel from coast to coast without seeing anything.
Author: Charles Kuralt
The best jokes to send by SMS

Why did the kangaroo love the little
Australian bear?
Because the bear had many fine koala-ties!
This is the joke from a category: Humor jokes
A Counselor saw a camper sitting alone. 'Why
don't you play with your friends?' he asked.
'Because I only
have one friend,' the girl replied. 'And I hate
her.'
This is the joke from a category: Humor jokes
The Counselor
was talking to the campers
about safety.
She said 'Don't climb any trees. If you fall down and
break a leg,
don't come running to me!'
This is the joke from a category: Humor jokes
One day the counsellor got a
phone call. It
was from a camper who had been at camp the summer before.
The old
camper said, 'I thought of camp yesterday.'
'Why?' the counsellor
asked. 'Where were you?'
'At the garbage dump!' the old camper
answered.
This is the joke from a category: Humor jokes
John was hard at work with
the broom in his
family's tent.
His mother came in and said, 'That's nice. Are you
sweeping out the
tent?'
'No,' John answered. 'I'm sweeping
out the dirt.'
This is the joke from a category: Humor jokes