Best Cell Phones

It is the part of a good shepherd to shear his flock, not to skin it.
Author: Latin Proverb

In America sex is an obsession, in other parts of the world it is a fact.
Author: Marlene Dietrich

It is very strange that the years teach us patience - that the shorter our time, the greater our capacity for waiting.
Author: Elizabeth Taylor

It is what we learn after we think we know it all, that counts.
Author: John Wooden

How could you?! Haven't you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain Whatshisname? We live in a society of laws! Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well, I didn't hear anybody laughing
Author: Matt Groening

What do you call an ant who can't play the piano ? Discordant !
This is the joke from a category: Ant jokes

First apple: You look down in the dumps. What's eating you? Second apple: Worms, I think.
This is the joke from a category: Apple jokes

A plane was taking off from Kennedy. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, "Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight number 293, non-stop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and therefore we should have a smooth flight, Now sit back and relax. - OH MY GOD!" Silence Then, the captain came back on the intercom and said: "Ladies and Gentlemen, I an so sorry if I scared you earlier, but while I was talking the flight attendant brought me a cup of coffee and spilled the hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!" A passenger in Coach said: "That's nothing. He should see the back of mine!"
This is the joke from a category: Aviation jokes

Mandy: Our teacher went on a special banana diet. Andy: Did she lose weight? Mandy: No, but she sure could climb trees well!
This is the joke from a category: Banana jokes

How can you tell if a snake is a baby snake? It has a rattle.
This is the joke from a category: Baby jokes