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Best quotes to send by SMS
A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.Author: Mark Twain
A college degree is not a sign that one is a finished product but an indication a person is prepared for life.Author: Reverend Edward A. Malloy
A compliment is a gift, not to be thrown away carelessly, unless you want to hurt the giver.Author: Eleanor Hamilton
A conservative government is an organized hypocrisy.Author: Benjamin Disraeli
A contented mind is the best source for trouble.Author: Titus Maccius Plautus
The best jokes to send by SMS
A man walking along a country road comes
across a farmer droving a huge mob of sheep. He stops and chats for a
while and then says, "Tell you what, I'll bet you $100 against one
of
your sheep that I can tell you the exact number in that
flock."
The farmer thinks for a moment, it is a big mob and he can't
see how
anyone could guess correctly so he says, "OK. You're
on."
"Nine hundred and thirty two," says the man.
The farmer
takes off his hat and scratches his head. "I don't know
how you did
it but that's exactly right. A bet's a bet. Take any
sheep."
The man picks up an animal and is about to walk off when the farmer
says, "Hang on. Bet you double or nothing that I can guess your
occupation."
The man thinks, "How would he know, he's never met
me before" and
says "Righto. You're on".
The farmer says,
"You're an auditor with a Big Four firm."
The man whistles
. "How the heck did you know that?"
"Well," says the farmer,
"put my dog down and I'll tell you."This is the joke from a category: Accountant jokes
The young accounting graduate, fresh out of
uni and knowing everything, applied for his first job. The
prospective
employer asked him what starting salary he was looking
for.
"Oh, around $100,000 a year, depending on the benefits
package."
"Well, how does this sound? Five weeks annual leave, 22.5%
superannuation, paid expenses to overseas conferences every year, home
telephone
reimbursed and a company car replaced every 20,000
kilometres, say a
Mercedes convertible."
The graduate sat up straight
and tried not to look excited. "Wow. Are
you
kidding?"
"Yeah. But you started it."This is the joke from a category: Accountant jokes
What kind of ant can you colour with ?
A crayant
!This is the joke from a category: Ant jokes
What is smaller than an ant's dinner ?
An
ant's mouth !This is the joke from a category: Ant jokes
What kind of ants are very learned ?
Pedants
!This is the joke from a category: Ant jokes