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If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you're old.
Author: Edgar Watson Howe

Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.
Author: Margaret Mead

Never expose yourself unnecessarily to danger; a miracle may not save you...and if it does, it will be deducted from your share of luck or merit.
Author: The Talmud

Never fight an inanimate object.
Author: P. J. O Rourke

Never give a child a sword.
Author: Latin Proverb

A guy walks into a laundry run by cats. "Excuse me", he said to the cat in charge, "Can you get milk stains out?" "Sure," replied the cat. "We'll have that stain licked in a minute!"
This is the joke from a category: Cat jokes

"Doctor," said the patient, "I need help! I can't stop acting like a cat!" "How long have you had this problem?" the doctor asked. "Lest's see," said the patient, "Mom had the litter in '41
This is the joke from a category: Cat jokes

On a special teacher's day, a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils. The florist's son handed her a gift. She shooked it, held it over her head, and said, "I bet I know what it is - flowers!" "That's right!" said the boy, "but how did you know?" "Just a wild guess," she said. The next pupil was the candy store owner's daughter. The teacher held her gift overhead, shooked it, and said, "I bet I can guess what it is - a box of candy!" "That's right! But how did you know?" asked the girl. "Just a lucky guess," said the teacher. The next gift was from the liquor store owner's son. The teacher held the bag over her head and noticed that it was leaking. She touched a drop of the leakage with her finger and tasted it. "Is it wine?" she asked. "No," the boy replied. The teacher repeated the process, touching another drop of the leakage to her tongue. "Is it champagne?" she asked. "No," the boy replied. The teacher then said, "I give up, what is it?" The boy replied, "A puppy!"
This is the joke from a category: Children jokes

Mrs Smith, the biology teacher, was very fond of fish. She was also rather deaf, which was great for the children in her class. "What Mrs Smith needs," said one of her colleagues, "is a herring-aid."
This is the joke from a category: Children jokes

Mother: Did you get a good place in the geography test? Fred: Yes, Mum, I sat next to the cleverest kid in the class.
This is the joke from a category: Children jokes