Best Cell Phones

There are days when solitude, for someone my age, is a heady wine that intoxicates you with freedom, others when it is a bitter tonic, and still others when it is a poison that makes you beat your head against the wall.
Author: Colette

Like all wage slaves, he had two crosses to bear: the people he worked for and the people he worked with.
Author: Stephen Vizinczey

You have to be careful who you let define your good.
Author: Lois McMaster Bujold

You have to know how to accept rejection and reject acceptance.
Author: Ray Bradbury

You know criticism when you get into this business. You accept the bad with the good, the tabloids and the positive side of it.
Author: Carmen Electra

Knock Knock Who's there ! Baby ! Baby who ? Baby love, my baby love.... !
This is the joke from a category: Baby jokes

A hotdog walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender replies, "Sorry, we don't serve food here".
This is the joke from a category: Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun!

A man in a bar sees a friend at a table, drinking by himself. Approaching the friend he comments, "You look terrible. What's the problem?" "My mother died in June," he said, "and left me $10,000." "Gee, that's tough," he replied. "Then in July," the friend continued, "My father died, leaving me $50,000." "Wow. Two parents gone in two months. No wonder you're depressed." "And last month my aunt died, and left me $15,000." "Three close family members lost in three months? How sad." "Then this month," continued, the friend, "nothing!"
This is the joke from a category: Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun!

A drunk is refused a drink in a bar, so he undertakes to prove to the barman that he is sober. He gestures toward a cat near the doorway and says, "You see that cat coming in the door? It has two eyes. If I were drunk, I'd see four!" The bartender looks, then pauses a moment. Finally he responds, "You're drunker than I thought!", taking the rest of the alcohol away, "That cat isn't coming in, it's going out!"
This is the joke from a category: Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun!

A man drinking at the bar for three hours, yells at the bartender for another drink. The bartender walks over and tells the man that he has already had too much to drink. The man looks up from his glass angrily and shouts. "I have been drinking for 36 years and I have no idea when I have had too much ...so how the hell do you know?"
This is the joke from a category: Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun!