Best quotes to send by SMS
Hunter S. Thompson No man is so foolish but he may sometimes give another good counsel, and no man so wise that he may not easily err if he takes no other counsel than his own. He that is taught only by himself has a fool for a master.
Author: Hunter S. Thompson

Elbert Hubbard No man needs a vacation so much as the man who has just had one.
Author: Elbert Hubbard

Nathaniel Hawthorne No man, for any considerable period, can wear one face to himself and another to the multitude, without finally getting bewildered as to which may be true.
Author: Nathaniel Hawthorne

Anne Rice No matter how long we exist, we have our memories. Points in time which time itself cannot erase. Suffering may distort my backward glances, but even to suffering, some memories will yield nothing of ther beauty or their splendor. Rather they remain as ha
Author: Anne Rice

Lynn Johnston No matter how old you are, there's always something good to look forward to.
Author: Lynn Johnston

The best jokes to send by SMS
Cannibal jokes What is a cannibal's favorite food? Baked Beings.
This is the joke from a category: Cannibal jokes

Cannibal jokes First cannibal: I can't find anything to eat! Second cannibal: But the jungle's full of people. First cannibal: Yes, but they're all very unsavory.
This is the joke from a category: Cannibal jokes

Cannibal jokes "Well, children," said the cannibal cooking teacher. "What did you make of the new English teacher?" "Burgers, ma'am."
This is the joke from a category: Cannibal jokes

Cannibal jokes Cannibals capture three men. The men are told that they will be skinned and eaten and then their skin will be used to make canoes. Then they are each given a final request. The first man asks to be killed as quickly and painlessly as possible. His request is granted, and they poison him. The second man asks for paper and a pen so that he can write a farewell letter to his family. This request is granted, and after he writes his letter, they kill him saving his skin for their canoes. Now it is the third man's turn. He asks for a fork. The cannibals are confused, but it is his final request, so they give him a fork. As soon as he has the fork he begins stabbing himself all over and shouts, "To hell with your canoes!"
This is the joke from a category: Cannibal jokes

Cannibal jokes The cannibal king was having dinner when a servant came running in. "Your Majesty," he said, "the slaves are revolting!" "You don't have to tell me," said the king. "I'm trying to eat them. "Where did we get these slaves anyway?" "From the country next door," replied the servant. "We must get a new butcher," said the king. "Bring me Delia Smith." "We can't, Your Majesty, she's still cooking for you." "Well, bring her to me once she's crispy enough," said the king.
This is the joke from a category: Cannibal jokes