Best Cell Phones

Until you walk a mile in another man's moccasins you can't imagine the smell.
Author: Robert Byrne

Now is the time for all good men to come to.
Author: Walt Kelly

Use your imagination not to scare yourself to death but to inspire yourself to life.
Author: Adele Brookman

Vanity of vanities, saith the Preacher; all is vanity.
Author: Bible

Retribution often means that we eventually do to ourselves what we have done unto others.
Author: Eric Hoffer

For a weddin' present Ledbetter gave his son Amos two hundred dollars. Two weeks later he asked him, "W'atcha do with the money, son?" "Ah bought me a wristwatch, Pappy!" answered the boy. "Yew dumb ignoramous!" yelled his father. "Yew should 'av bought yoreself a rifle!" "A rifle? What fer?" "Suppos'n one day yew cum home and find some guy sleepin' wid yore wife," explained the older redneck. "W'atcha gonna do? Wake him up and ask him what time it is?"
This is the joke from a category: Time jokes

Why did the girl sit on her watch? She wanted to be on time.
This is the joke from a category: Time jokes

Why did the man put a clock under his desk? He wanted to work overtime.
This is the joke from a category: Time jokes

While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den. "What is the big brass gong and hammer for?" one of his friends asked. "That is the talking clock," the man replied. "How's it work?" the friend asked. "Watch," the student said then proceeded to give the gong an ear shattering pound with the hammer. Suddenly someone screamed from the other side of the wall, "KNOCK IT OFF, YOU JERK! It's two AM!"
This is the joke from a category: Time jokes

When is the best time to go shopping? When the stores are open.
This is the joke from a category: Time jokes