Best quotes to send by SMS
Fontenelle A great obstacle to happiness is the expectation of too great a happiness.
Author: Fontenelle

Yiddish Proverb A guest is like rain: when he lingers on, he becomes a nuisance.
Author: Yiddish Proverb

Dutch Proverb A handful of patience is worth more than a bushel of brains.
Author: Dutch Proverb

Sarah Orne Jewett A harbor, even if it is a little harbor, is a good thing... It takes something from the world, and has something to give in return.
Author: Sarah Orne Jewett

German Proverb A hedge between keeps friendship green.
Author: German Proverb

The best jokes to send by SMS
Baby jokes Why does a mother carry her baby? The baby can't carry the mother.
This is the joke from a category: Baby jokes

Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun! A man is in a bar having a drink. The guy next to him falls off of his barstool. The man picks up the guy and sits him back on the barstool, and he falls off again. This time he picks the guy up and asks, ''Where do you live?'' Being a kind soul, the man takes the guy to his car, puts him in the back seat, and drives him home. When they get to the guy's house, the man helps the guy out of the car, but he falls down 3 times before getting to the front door. The man rings the doorbell and the guy's wife comes to the door. The man says, ''Hello, I've brought your husband home.'' The wife looks at the man and asks, ''Where's his wheel chair?''
This is the joke from a category: Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun!

Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun! An armless man walked into a bar which is empty except for the bartender. He ordered a drink and when he was served, asked the bartender if he would get the money from his wallet in his pocket, since he has no arms. The bartender obliged him. He then asked if the bartender would tip the glass to his lips. The bartender did this until the man finished his drink. He then asked if the bartender would get a hanky from his pocket and wipe the foam from his lips. The bartender did it and commented it must be very difficult not to have arms and have to ask someone to do nearly everything for him. The man said, "Yes, it is a bit embarrassing at times. By the way, where is your restroom?" The bartender quickly replies -, "The closest one is in the gas station three blocks down the street."
This is the joke from a category: Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun!

Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun! Sign seen in a bar: "Those drinking to forget please pay in advance."
This is the joke from a category: Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun!

Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun! "I was married 3 times" explained the man to a newly discovered drinking partner, "and I'll never marry again. My first 2 wives died of eating poison mushrooms and my 3rd wife died of a fractured skull." "That's a shame." said his friend , "How did it happen?" "She wouldn't eat the mushrooms!"
This is the joke from a category: Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun!