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Best quotes to send by SMS
A great obstacle to happiness is the expectation of too great a happiness.Author: Fontenelle
A guest is like rain: when he lingers on, he becomes a nuisance.Author: Yiddish Proverb
A handful of patience is worth more than a bushel of brains.Author: Dutch Proverb
A harbor, even if it is a little harbor, is a good thing... It takes something from the world, and has something to give in return.Author: Sarah Orne Jewett
A hedge between keeps friendship green.Author: German Proverb
The best jokes to send by SMS
Why does a mother carry
her baby?
The baby
can't carry the mother.This is the joke from a category: Baby jokes
A man is in a bar having a
drink. The guy next to him falls off of his barstool. The man picks
up
the guy and sits him back on the barstool, and he falls off
again. This
time he picks the guy up and asks, ''Where do you
live?''
Being a kind soul, the man takes the guy to his car, puts
him in the
back seat, and drives him home. When they get to the
guy's house, the
man helps the guy out of the car, but he falls down 3
times before
getting to the front door. The man rings the doorbell
and the guy's wife
comes to the door. The man says, ''Hello,
I've brought your husband
home.''
The wife looks at the man
and asks, ''Where's his wheel
chair?''This is the joke from a category: Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun!
An armless man walked into a
bar which is empty except for the bartender.
He ordered a
drink and when he was served, asked the bartender if he
would get
the money from his wallet in his pocket, since he has no arms.
The bartender obliged him. He then asked if the bartender would tip the
glass to his lips.
The bartender did this until the man
finished his drink. He then asked
if the bartender would get a hanky
from his pocket and wipe the foam
from his lips.
The
bartender did it and commented it must be very difficult not to
have arms
and have to ask someone to do nearly everything for him.
The man
said, "Yes, it is a bit embarrassing at times.
By the way, where is
your restroom?"
The bartender quickly replies -,
"The
closest one is in the gas station three blocks down the
street."This is the joke from a category: Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun!
Sign seen in a bar:
"Those drinking to forget please pay in advance."This is the joke from a category: Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun!
"I was married 3 times"
explained the man to a newly discovered drinking partner, "and I'll
never marry again. My first 2 wives died of eating poison mushrooms
and my
3rd wife died of a fractured skull."
"That's a
shame." said his friend , "How did it happen?"
"She wouldn't eat
the mushrooms!"This is the joke from a category: Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun!