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His hand will be against every man, and every man's hand against him.
Author: Bible

His lordship may compel us to be equal upstairs, but there will never be equality in the servants hall.
Author: James M. Barrie

His resolve is not to seem, but to be, the best.
Author: Aeschylus

History is more or less bunk.
Author: Henry Ford

History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon.
Author: Napoleon Bonaparte

I've got trouble with the wife again - she came into the bar looking for me and I asked for her number.
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes

A bum asks a man for $2. The man asked, "Will you buy booze?" The bum said, "No." The man asked, "Will you gamble it away?" The bum said, "No." Then the man asked, "Will you come home with me so my wife can see what happens to a man who doesn't drink or gamble?"
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes

Two men are having an awfully slow round of golf because the two ladies in front of them managed to get into every sand trap, lake, and rough on the course, and they didn't bother to wave the men on through, which is proper golf etiquette. After two hours of waiting and waiting, one man said, "I think I'll walk up there and ask those gals to let us play through." He walked out to the fairway, got halfway to the ladies, stopped, turned around and came back, explaining, "I can't do it. One of those women is my wife and the other is my mistress. Maybe you'd better go talk to them." The second man walked toward the ladies, go halfway there and, just as his partner had done, stopped, turned around and walked back. He smiled sheepishly and said, "Small World!"
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes

A guy is dating three women and can't decide which one to marry. He gives each $1,000 to see how well they can manage money. The first one spends $800 and puts $200 in the bank. The second one spends $200 and puts $800 in the bank. The third one puts the whole $1,000 in the bank. Which one does he end up marrying? The most beautiful one..
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes

I've never been much on fashion, but got quite a few compliments on a new sports jacket I wore to work one day. My secretary asked me where I got it and I told her that it was a surprise from my wife. I went home early yesterday, and there it was, on the back of a kitchen chair.
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes