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As I know more of mankind I expect less of them, and am ready now to call a man a good man upon easier terms than I was formerly.
Author: Samuel Johnson

As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it.
Author: Dick Cavett

As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand.
Author: Josh Billings

As sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.
Author: Bible

As thou hast sown, so shalt thou reap.
Author: Pinarius

Dear Father Christmas, could you please send me some Crocodile shoes!. Father Christmas: Can't do that one. He hasn't said what size his crocodile takes!
This is the joke from a category: Christmas jokes

One time Father Christmas lost his underpants. That's how he got the name Saint Knickerless!
This is the joke from a category: Christmas jokes

I've had a slight accident with your sleigh, Father Christmas! Father Christmas: Oh no! That sleigh was in mint condition! That's all right....now it's a mint with a hole!
This is the joke from a category: Christmas jokes

Last year's Christmas pudding was so awful I threw it in the ocean. That's probably why the ocean's full of currants!
This is the joke from a category: Christmas jokes

Why does Santa's sled get such good mileage? Because it has long-distance runners on each side.
This is the joke from a category: Christmas jokes