Best Cell Phones

The safest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it in your pocket.
Author: Kin Hubbard

The scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.
Author: Confucius

The scornful nostril and the high head gather not the odors that lie on the track of truth.
Author: George Eliot

The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. But the opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
Author: Niels Bohr

The secret of happiness is to make others believe they are the cause of it.
Author: Al Batt

What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common? They're married.
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes

Larry's barn burned down, and Susan, his wife, called the insurance company ... Susan: We had that barn insured for fifty thousand and I want my money. Agent: Whoa there just a minute, Susan; it doesn't work quite like that. We will ascertain the value of the old barn and provide you with a new one of comparable worth. Susan, after a pause: I'd like to cancel the policy on my husband.
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes

An explorer goes into an undiscovered tomb for the first time, and in the center of the tomb there is a lamp. So he picked it up and started to rub the dirt off of it, and out came a genie out of the lamp and he said "I want to know the person you hate the most" The explorer said "That's gotta be my ex-wife. Why?" "I am a cursed genie, I will grant you three wishes but whatever you wish for your ex-wife will get double the amount." "OK, I wish for a billion dollars" "Granted, but your ex-wife gets two billion" "I wish for a mansion in California with a swimming pool, and tennis courts, everything" "Granted your ex-wife gets two. This is your final wish" The explorer walked around the room and came back to the genie with a stick and said "Ya see this stick, I'd like you to beat me half to death."
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes

A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself that he starts calling his wife "Mother of Six" in spite of her objections. One night they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go home, and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home, Mother of Six?" His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion shouts back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four!"
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes

Following a bitter divorce a husband saw his wife at a party and sneered, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." The wife simply sighed and replied, "Yes, dear, I know, but I was in love and didn't really notice."
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes