Best Cell Phones

I simply cannot understand the passion that some people have for making themselves thoroughly uncomfortable and then boasting about it afterwards.
Author: Patricia Moyes

I stand in awe of my body.
Author: Henry David Thoreau

I take it as a man's duty to restrain himself.
Author: Lois McMaster Bujold

I think on-stage nudity is disgusting, shameful and damaging to all things American. But if I were 22 with a great body, it would be artistic, tasteful, patriotic and a progressive religious experience.
Author: Shelley Winters

I think that anyone who comes upon a Nautilus machine suddenly will agree with me that its prototype was clearly invented at some time in history when torture was considered a reasonable alternative to diplomacy.
Author: Anna Quindlen

Patron 1: I eat at a different restaurant every day. Patron 2: I don't tip, either.
This is the joke from a category: Restaurant jokes

What does a Chinese restaurant serve for Easter? Coloured eggrolls!
This is the joke from a category: Restaurant jokes

Two little boys were visiting their grandfather and he took them to a restaurant for lunch. They couldn't make up their minds about what they wanted to eat. Finally the grandfather grinned at the server and said, "Just bring them bread and water." One of the little boys looked up and quavered, "Can I have ketchup on it?"
This is the joke from a category: Restaurant jokes

The headwaiter of an elegant restaurant recoiled in disgust as a man in boots, torn jeans and a leather jacket approached him. "Hey, man," he said, "where's the toilet?" "Go down the hall and turn left, "replied the headwaiter. "When you see the sign marked 'Gentlemen; pay no attention to it and go right on in."
This is the joke from a category: Restaurant jokes

Sign at restaurant reads: Eat here diet home
This is the joke from a category: Restaurant jokes