
To be, or not to be: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep:
No more; and by a sleep to sa
Author: William Shakespeare
To believe with certainty we must begin with doubting.
Author: Stanislaw Leszczynski
To die will be an awfully big adventure.
Author: James M. Barrie
To do just the opposite is also a form of imitation.
Author: Georg Christoph Lichtenberg
To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer.
Author: Farmers' Almanac

A not so rich couple decided to
stay at a very exclusive hotel for a night. The manager immediately
recognized them for what they are but could not throw them out,
instead he
decided to be clever. In the morning the couple came to
settle the bill
and were surprized to find they owe
$3000.
"How's this? We've only been here one night!" the man was
annoyed.
"So?", said the manager, "this is a very expensive hotel. We have
golf
courts, tennis courts, swimming pools, exercise rooms, bars and
restaurants, all this is very expensive to keep up."
"But we didn't use
any of these!" explained the couple.
"If you didn't use - that's
your problem," came the reply.
"In that case, you owe me $2000.
You see, my wife is a call girl who
charges $5000 a night, so please
settle your bill," said the man.
"What do you mean?" the manager was
taken off guard, "I didn't
sleep with your wife!"
"If yo
u didn't use - that's your problem!"
This is the joke from a category: Travel and tourist jokes
A group of Americans was touring
Ireland. One of the women in
the group was a real curmudgeon,
constantly complaining. The
bus seats are uncomfortable.The food is
terrible. It's too hot. It's
too cold. The accommodations are
awful.
The group arrived at the site of the famous Blarney Stone.
"Good luck will be followin' ya all your days if you kiss the
Blarney Stone,"the guide said. "Unfortunately, it's being
cleaned
today and so no one willbe able to kiss it. Perhaps we
can come back
tomorrow."
"We can't be here tomorrow," the nasty woman shouted.
"We
have some other boring tour to go on. So I guess we can't kiss
the stupid stone."
"Well now," the guide said, "it is said
that if you kiss someone
who has kissed the stone, you'll have the
same good fortune."
"And I suppose you've kissed the stone,"
the woman scoffed.
"No, ma'am," the frustrated guide said,
"but I've sat on
it."
This is the joke from a category: Travel and tourist jokes
This woman is visiting in Israel
and notices that her little travel alarm
needs a battery. She
looks for a watch repair shop and while she
doesn't
read Hebrew
she finally sees a shop with clocks and watches in the
window.
She goes in and hands the man her clock. The man says, "Madam, I
don't
repair clocks. I am a Mohel. I do circumcisions."
She says,
"Why all the clocks in the window?"
And he says, "And what should I
have in my window?"
This is the joke from a category: Travel and tourist jokes
Steve is going on an ocean cruise,
and he tells his doctor that
he's worried about getting real
seasick. The doctor tells him,
"Just eat two pounds of stewed tomatoes
before you leave the dock."
Steve says, "Will that keep me from
getting sick?"
The doctor says, "No, but it'll look real pretty in the
water."
This is the joke from a category: Travel and tourist jokes
What does a witch get if she's a
poor traveler?
Broom sick.
This is the joke from a category: Travel and tourist jokes