Best Cell Phones

When your work speaks for itself, don't interrupt.
Author: Henry J. Kaiser

Whenever a man does a thoroughly stupid thing, it is always from the noblest motives.
Author: Oscar Wilde

Whenever I hear the word culture, I reach for my revolver.
Author: Hanns Johst

The best effect of any book is that it excites the reader to self-activity.
Author: Thomas Carlyle

Where all think alike, no one thinks very much.
Author: Walter Lippmann

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. He only brought enough money for one beer though. As he's drinking his beer, which was quite expensive, he realizes how bad he has to go to the bathroom. Not wanting anyone to drink his expensive beer, he takes out a 3x5 note card and writes on it, "I SPIT IN THIS BEER", and walks to the bathroom. When he comes back about 15 minutes later, there's another 3x5 note card next to his beer saying, "I SPIT IN IT TOO".
This is the joke from a category: Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun!

Remember, an alcoholic & a drunk are not the same thing at all. The alcoholic has to attend meetings.
This is the joke from a category: Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun!

A guy walks into a bar with a dog under his arm, puts the dog on the bar and announces that the dog can talk and that he has $100 he's willing to bet anyone who says he can't. The bartender quickly takes the bet and the owner looks at the dog and asks, "What's the thing on top of this building which keeps the rain from coming inside?" The dog answers "ROOF." The bartender says, "Who are you kidding? I'm not paying." The dogs owner says, "How about double or nothing and I'll ask him something else." The bartender agrees and the owner turns to the dog and asks, "Who was the greatest ballplayer of all time?" The dog answers with a muffled "RUTH." With that the bartender picks them both up and throws them out the door. As they bounce on the sidewalk, the dog looks at his owner and says, "DiMaggio?"
This is the joke from a category: Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun!

Last New Year's Eve, one woman stood up at the local tavern and said that it was time to get ready. At the stroke of midnight, she wanted every husband to be standing next to the one person who made his life worth living. It was embarrassing - The bartender was almost crushed to death.
This is the joke from a category: Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun!

The Taco Bell Chihuahua, a Doberman and a Bulldog are in a bar having adrink when a great-looking female Collie comes up to them and says, "Whoever can say liver and cheese in a sentence can have me." So the Doberman says, "I love liver and cheese." The Collie replies, "That's not good enough." The Bulldog says, "I hate liver and cheese." She says, "That's not creative enough." Finally, the Chihuahua says, "Liver alone . . . cheese mine."
This is the joke from a category: Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun!