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Best quotes to send by SMS
Her ways are ways of pleasantness, and all her paths are peace.Author: Bible
Here's a rule I recommend: Never practice two vices at once.Author: Tallulah Bankhead
Heroing is one of the shortest-lived professions there is.Author: Will Rogers
High thoughts must have high language.Author: Aristophanes
His house was perfect, whether you liked food, or sleep, or work, or story-telling, or singing, or just sitting and thinking, best, or a pleasant mixture of them all.Author: J. R. R. Tolkien
The best jokes to send by SMS
Q: How many
Studio Executives does it
take to screw in a light bulb?
A: We don't know. Light bulbs last
longer than studio executives.This is the joke from a category: Movie and TV jokes
Q: How many 1st AD's does it take to
screw in a light bulb?
A: Why are you asking me that question? Can't
you see I'm busy!This is the joke from a category: Movie and TV jokes
Q: What did the Production Manager give
his kids for
Christmas?
A: Nothing. But he promised he'd make
it up to them on the next
one.This is the joke from a category: Movie and TV jokes
After a venerable career of endless,
stellar successes the greatest director who ever lived is in his prime
and
preparing for his most ambitious project ever when he
unexpectedly dies
and is called home to heaven. St. Peter meets him at the
gate.
"So sorry about your untimely death," he tells the
director. "But
God himself has called you home. You see, God wants you to
direct a movie
for Him."
The great man is humbled, "God
wants ME to direct a film?"
"Yes," St. Peter tells him. "And
we've arranged to have the best of
everything made available to you.
For example, the script is by William
Shakespeare."
The
director is stunned, "An original screenplay by William
Shakespeare?"
"Yes," St. Peter assures him, "And it's his greatest work ever."
"Wow!" says the Director, awe struck.
"Your Production
Designer will be Michaelangelo. We've got Leonardo
Da Vinci d
oing the sets, your musical score will be an original work by
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart and your cast includes a young Laurence Olivier
and the greatest actors of all time in supporting roles."
The
Director can't believe it. "This is incredible," he says. "This
will be the greatest movie ever?"
St. Peter kind of shuffles his
feet. "Well," he says, "we do have
one tiny little problem."
"Problem?" says the director. "What kind of a problem?"
St.
Peter puts his arm around the director's shoulder, "Ya see," he
whispers, "God's got this girlfriend..."This is the joke from a category: Movie and TV jokes
Fred: I'd love to be an
actress.
Harry: Break a leg then! Amy: Whatever for?
Fred: Then you'd be
in a cast for weeks.This is the joke from a category: Movie and TV jokes