Best Cell Phones

I don't mind what Congress does, as long as they don't do it in the streets and frighten the horses.
Author: Victor Hugo

Millions of words are written annually purporting to tell how to beat the races, whereas the best possible advice on the subject is found in the three monosyllables: 'Do not try.'
Author: Dan Parker

I see my body as an instrument, rather than an ornament.
Author: Alanis Morissette

Misogynist: A man who hates women as much as women hate one another.
Author: H. L. Mencken

I still need more healthy rest in order to work at my best. My health is the main capital I have and I want to administer it intelligently.
Author: Ernest Hemingway

Why do hamburgers make good baseball players? They're great at the plate!
This is the joke from a category: Burger jokes

Why were the burgers in the refrigerator embarrassed? They saw the salad dressing!
This is the joke from a category: Burger jokes

What's the difference between a bus driver and a cold? A bus driver knows the stops, and a cold stops the nose.
This is the joke from a category: Bus jokes

As the bus came to the stop, the man at the front of the queue took out his eye, threw it up in the air and caught it before getting on the bus. An amazed conductor said, 'What on earth did you do that for?' 'I wanted to know if there was room on top,' replied the man.
This is the joke from a category: Bus jokes

Passenger: Does this bus go to London? Conductor: No. Passenger: But it says London on the front. Conductor: There's an advertisement for baked beans on the side, but we don't sell them!
This is the joke from a category: Bus jokes