Best Cell Phones

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
Author: George Burns

How is it possible to find meaning in a finite world, given my waist and shirt size?
Author: Woody Allen

Unjust dominion cannot be eternal.
Author: Seneca

Unless you are prepared yourself to profit by your chance, the opportunity will only make you ridiculous. A great occasion is valuable to you in proportion as you have educated yourself to make use of it.
Author: Orison Swett Marden

Once in a while you have to take a break and visit yourself.
Author: Audrey Giorgi

At a family gathering, husband began teasing his wife about how she always get her way. "Honey," she said to her husband, "when I get my way, that's a compromise." "What is it when I get my way?" he was quick to ask. She replied, "That's a miracle!"
This is the joke from a category: Women jokes

A man was walking on the beach one day and he found a bottle half buried in the sand. He decided to open it. Inside was a genie. The genie said," I will grant you three wishes and three wishes only." The man thought about his first wish and decided, "I think I want 1 million dollars transferred to a Swiss bank account. POOF! Next he wished for a Ferrari red in color. POOF! There was the car sitting in front of him. He asked for his final wish, " I wish I was irresistible to women." POOF! He turned into a box of chocolates.
This is the joke from a category: Women jokes

An English professor wrote the words, "Woman without her man is nothing" on the blackboard and directed his students to punctuate it correctly. The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing." The women wrote: "Woman: Without her, man is nothing."
This is the joke from a category: Women jokes

Q: How many Cancerians does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Just one, and they'll use a non-disposable diaper too!
This is the joke from a category: Zodiac jokes

Q: How many Geminis does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Two, but the job never gets done --- they just keep arguing about who is supposed to do it and how it's supposed to be done!
This is the joke from a category: Zodiac jokes