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I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.
Author: Rita Rudner

Of all the self-fulfilling prophecies in our culture, the assumption that aging means decline and poor health is probably the deadliest.
Author: Marilyn Ferguson

Of course, it is very important to be sober when you take an exam. Many worthwhile careers in the street- cleansing, fruit-picking and subway-guitar-playing industries have been founded on a lack of understanding of this simple fact.
Author: Terry Pratchett

Of those who say nothing, few are silent.
Author: Thomas Neill

I am a Millionaire. That is my religion.
Author: George Bernard Shaw

How many chimney does Father Christmas go down ? Stacks !
This is the joke from a category: Christmas jokes

Why couldn't the skeleton go to the Christmas Party ? He had no body to go with !
This is the joke from a category: Christmas jokes

I wouldn't say Christmas gnomes are small. But they used to be lumberjacks on a mushroom farm!
This is the joke from a category: Christmas jokes

What song do Father Christmas' gnomes sing to him when he comes home cold on Christmas night? Freeze a jolly good fellow!
This is the joke from a category: Christmas jokes

Father Christmas:I like the story about the girl who steals from the rich and gives it all to Granny. Elf: That's Little Red Robin Hood'!
This is the joke from a category: Christmas jokes