
The mathematics is not there till we put it there.
Author: Sir Arthur Eddington
The meek shall inherit the Earth, but not its mineral rights.
Author: J. Paul Getty
The men the American public admire most extravagantly are the most daring liars; the men they detest most violently are those who try to tell them the truth.
Author: H. L. Mencken
The mind is slow to unlearn what it learnt early.
Author: Seneca
Resolve to edge in a little reading every day, if it is but a single sentence. If you gain fifteen minutes a day, it will make itself felt at the end of the year.
Author: Horace Mann

A bum asks a man for $2.
The man asked,
"Will you buy booze?"
The bum said, "No."
The man asked, "Will you
gamble it away?"
The bum said, "No."
Then the man asked, "Will
you come home with me so my wife can
see what happens to a man who
doesn't drink or gamble?"
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes
Two men are having an awfully slow round
of
golf because the two ladies in front of them
managed to get into
every sand trap, lake, and
rough on the course, and they didn't
bother to
wave the men on through, which is proper
golf
etiquette.
After two hours of waiting and waiting, one man
said, "I think
I'll walk up there and ask those
gals to let us play through." He
walked out to
the fairway, got halfway to the ladies,
stopped,
turned around and came back, explaining, "I can't
do it. One of those
women is my wife and the other
is my mistress. Maybe you'd better
go talk to them."
The second man walked toward the ladies, go
halfway
there and, just as his partner had done, stopped,
turned
around and walked back.
He smiled sheepishly and said, "Small
World!"
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes
A guy is dating three women and can't decide
which one to marry. He gives each $1,000 to see how well they can
manage money. The first one spends $800 and puts $200 in the bank.
The
second one spends $200 and puts $800 in the bank. The third one
puts the
whole $1,000 in the bank. Which one does he end up
marrying? The most
beautiful one..
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes
I've never been much on fashion, but got
quite a few compliments on a new sports jacket I wore to work one day.
My
secretary asked me where I got it and I told her that it was a
surprise
from my wife. I went home early yesterday, and there
it
was, on the back of a kitchen chair.
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes
The Yuppie showered a Yuppette with gifts for
over a month. He
took her to fancy restaurants and expensive
resorts. Finally, he
proposed, "Bernie, if you will marry me, I have
enough money
to provide you with anything your little heart
desires."
"Sorry John." she replied. "I'm not ready to settle down
yet.
And besides, you can't buy my love, but if the price is right, I
might see my way clear to rent you some."
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes