Best Cell Phones

When people have no other tyrant, their own public opinion becomes one.
Author: Edward Bulwer-Lytton

When someone allows you to bear his burdens, you have found deep friendship.
Author: Real Live Preacher

When someone who is known for being comedic does something straight, it' s always 'a big breakthrough' or a 'radical departure.' Why is it no one ever says that if a straight actor does comedy? Are they presuming comedy is easier?
Author: Carol Burnett

If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner.
Author: Tallulah Bankhead

When the heart speaks, the mind finds it indecent to object.
Author: Milan Kundera

Fred came rushing in to his Dad. "Dad!" he puffed, "is it true that an apple a day keeps the doctor away?" "That's what they say," said his Dad. "Well, give me an apple quick ? I've just broken the doctor's window!"
This is the joke from a category: Apple jokes

Once upon a time there were five apples Which was the cowboy? None - because they were all redskins.
This is the joke from a category: Apple jokes

Two girls were having their packed lunch in the school yard. One had an apple and the other said, 'Watch out for worms won't you !' The first one replied, 'why should I ? They can watch out for themselves.
This is the joke from a category: Apple jokes

What is the left side of an apple? The part that you don't eat.
This is the joke from a category: Apple jokes

What do you get if you cross a jogger with an apple pie ? Puff pastry !
This is the joke from a category: Apple jokes