Best quotes to send by SMS
Michelle Burford [M]aybe the most any of us can expect of ourselves isn't perfection but progress.
Author: Michelle Burford

Thomas Dekker [Sleep is] the golden chain that ties health and our bodies together.
Author: Thomas Dekker

Theodor Herzl [The body is] a marvelous machine...a chemical laboratory, a power-house. Every movement, voluntary or involuntary, full of secrets and marvels!
Author: Theodor Herzl

Diogenes the Cynic [When asked what was the proper time for supper] If you are a rich man, whenever you please; and if you are a poor man, whenever you can.
Author: Diogenes the Cynic

Abigail Van Buren A bad habit never disappears miraculously; it's an undo-it-yourself project.
Author: Abigail Van Buren

The best jokes to send by SMS
Bicycle jokes The cyclist, passing a pedestrian crossing, runs into a man, and they both fall down. -"Geez, are you lucky." The cyclist says. -"What do you mean by lucky ?" The pedestrian angrily asks. "I got hurt really bad." -"Ah, you're lucky because I recently lost my license. I usually drive a bus."
This is the joke from a category: Bicycle jokes

Bicycle jokes Which Elizabethan sailor could stop bikes ? Sir Francis Brake !
This is the joke from a category: Bicycle jokes

Bicycle jokes Q: Why do bikes have kick-stands? A: Because they're two-tired.
This is the joke from a category: Bicycle jokes

Biologist jokes A young wildlife biologist got fired from his first real wildlife job. Upon his return home, his parents asked him what happened. "You know what a crew boss is?" he asked. "The one who stands around and watches everyone else work." "What's that got to do with it?" they asked. "Well, he just got jealous of me," the young biologist explained. "Everyone thought I was the crew boss."
This is the joke from a category: Biologist jokes

Biologist jokes A logger is driving down the highway and sees two botanists trying to measure the height of a small pine tree. Their tape measure is not long enough so one botanist stands on the shoulders of the other and attempts to extend the tape to the tree top but it is not long enough. While trying, he falls to the ground. They attempt this about five times and each time the top botanist falls. The logger is laughing but feels sorry for the pair, gets out of his truck, takes out an electric saw and cuts down the tree. The botanists are looking at him like he is crazy. He then takes a tape measure and measures the tree. "OK guys, the tree is 14' 6." He then gets in his truck and drives away. The two botanists are stunned and speechless. Finally one says to the other ,"How do you like that, we are trying to measure the height of the tree and that stupid jerk measures the width."
This is the joke from a category: Biologist jokes