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Best quotes to send by SMS
[M]aybe the most any of us can expect of ourselves isn't perfection but progress.Author: Michelle Burford
[Sleep is] the golden chain that ties health and our bodies together.Author: Thomas Dekker
[The body is] a marvelous machine...a chemical laboratory, a power-house. Every movement, voluntary or involuntary, full of secrets and marvels!Author: Theodor Herzl
[When asked what was the proper time for supper] If you are a rich man, whenever you please; and if you are a poor man, whenever you can.Author: Diogenes the Cynic
A bad habit never disappears miraculously; it's an undo-it-yourself project.Author: Abigail Van Buren
The best jokes to send by SMS
The cyclist, passing a pedestrian crossing,
runs into a man, and
they both fall down. -"Geez, are you lucky." The
cyclist says.
-"What do you mean by lucky ?" The pedestrian angrily
asks. "I got hurt
really bad." -"Ah, you're lucky because I
recently lost my license. I
usually drive a bus."This is the joke from a category: Bicycle jokes
Which Elizabethan
sailor could stop bikes
?
Sir Francis Brake !This is the joke from a category: Bicycle jokes
Q: Why do bikes have kick-stands? A: Because
they're
two-tired.This is the joke from a category: Bicycle jokes
A young wildlife biologist got fired from
his first real
wildlife job. Upon his return home, his parents asked
him what happened.
"You know what a crew boss is?" he asked.
"The one who stands around
and watches everyone else work."
"What's that got to do with it?" they asked.
"Well, he just got
jealous of me," the young biologist explained.
"Everyone thought I
was the crew boss."This is the joke from a category: Biologist jokes
A logger is driving down the highway and
sees two botanists
trying to measure the height of a small pine tree.
Their tape measure is
not long enough so one botanist stands on the
shoulders of the other
and attempts to extend the tape to the tree
top but it is not long
enough. While trying, he falls to the
ground. They attempt this about five
times and each time the top botanist
falls. The logger is laughing but
feels sorry for the pair, gets
out of his truck, takes out an electric
saw and cuts down the tree.
The botanists are looking at him like he is
crazy. He then takes a
tape measure and measures the tree. "OK guys,
the tree is 14' 6."
He then gets in his truck and drives away. The two
botanists are
stunned and speechless. Finally one says to the other
,"How do you
like that, we are trying to measure the height of the tree
and that
stupid jerk measures the width."This is the joke from a category: Biologist jokes