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Best quotes to send by SMS
Fill all thy bones with aches.Author: William Shakespeare
Fire is the test of gold; adversity, of strong men.Author: Seneca
First mend yourself, and then mend others.Author: Jewish Proverb
First they came for the Communists but I was not a Communist so I did not speak out. Then they came for the Socialists and the Trade Unionists but I was not one of them, so I did not speak out. Then they came for the Jews but I was not Jewish so I did notAuthor: Martin Niemoeller
Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt of, not swallowed.Author: Josh Billings
The best jokes to send by SMS
A
journalist assigned to the Jerusalem
bureau takes an
apartment overlooking the Wailing Wall. Every day
when she
looks out, she sees an old Jewish man praying vigorously.
So
the journalist goes down and introduces herself to the old man.
She asks: "You come every day to the wall. How long have you
done that and what are you praying for?"
The old man replies,
"I have come here to pray every day for 25
years. In the morning I
pray for world peace and then for the
brotherhood of man. I go home
have a cup of tea and I come
back and pray for the eradication of
illness and disease from
the earth."
The journalist is
amazed. "How does it make you feel to come
here every day for 25 years
and pray for these things?" she
asks.
The old man looks at her
sadly. "Like I'm talking to a wall."This is the joke from a category: Journalist jokes
Q: How many
journalists does it take to
screw in a lightbulb?
A: Three. One to report it as an inspired
government program to bring
light to the people, one to report it as a
diabolical government plot to
deprive the poor of darkness, and one
to win a pulitzer prize for
reporting that Electric Company hired a
lightbulb assassin to break the bulb
in the first place.This is the joke from a category: Journalist jokes
What do you get if you cross a radio music
presenter
with Match of the Day ?
DDDDDDDDDDDDDJ !This is the joke from a category: Journalist jokes
Q: How many editors does it take to change
a lightbulb?
A: It was supposed to be in place last week!This is the joke from a category: Journalist jokes
A
young woman was appearing in court to face
a public disorder charge. The
charges were read out, and she was
asked how she pleaded. "Not
guilty," the woman answered
emphatically.
The prosecution council then approached the woman and said: "Is
it
true that on the 11th of December, last year, you committed an
act of
gross indecency with a one-legged dwarf - who was waving a
union jack - on
the roof of a car, whilst travelling at over 100mph
through the center
of London, in a blizzard?"
The woman
composed herself, looked straight at the prosecution council
and calmly
said: "What was the date again?"This is the joke from a category: Judge jokes