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Best quotes to send by SMS

The knowledge of the world is only to be acquired in the world, and not in a closet.
Author: Lord Chesterfield

Hope smiles on the threshold of the year to come, whispering that it will be happier.
Author: Alfred Lord Tennyson

The law of liberty tends to abolish the reign of race over race, of faith over faith, of class over class. It is not the realization of a political ideal; it is the discharge of a moral obligation.
Author: John Dalberg

The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.
Author: Alfred Hitchcock

The life of every man is a diary in which he means to write one story, and writes another; and his humblest hour is when he compares the volume as it is with what he vowed to make it.
Author: James M. Barrie

The best jokes to send by SMS

What's big and hairy and goes 'beep beep'? A monster in a traffic jam.
This is the joke from a category: Monster jokes

FRED MONSTER: My sister must be twenty. I counted the rings under her eyes. BERT MONSTER: That's nothing. My sister's tongue is so long, she can lick an envelope after she's posted it.
This is the joke from a category: Monster jokes

MRS MONSTER TO MR MONSTER: Try to be nice to my mother when she visits us this weekend, dear. Fall down when she hits you.
This is the joke from a category: Monster jokes

What do they have for lunch at Monster School? Human beans, boiled legs, pickled bunions and eyes-cream.
This is the joke from a category: Monster jokes

Little monster: Mom I've finished. Can I leave the table? Mommy monster: Yes, I'll save it for your tea.
This is the joke from a category: Monster jokes