Best quotes to send by SMS
Thomas A. Edison Results! Why, man, I have gotten a lot of results. I know several thousand things that won't work.
Author: Thomas A. Edison

Captain Lawrence Oates I am just going outside and may be some time.
Author: Captain Lawrence Oates

Dick Gregory Riches do not delight us so much with their possession, as torment us with their loss.
Author: Dick Gregory

Christina Baldwin Ritual is the way you carry the presence of the sacred. Ritual is the spark that must not go out.
Author: Christina Baldwin

Matt Groening Romance is dead. It was acquired in a hostile takeover by Hallmark and Disney, homogenized, and sold off piece by piece.
Author: Matt Groening

The best jokes to send by SMS
Farmer jokes What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor ? Wheres my tractor!
This is the joke from a category: Farmer jokes

Farmer jokes How does the pig farmer get to the fair? He rides piggyback.
This is the joke from a category: Farmer jokes

Fishing jokes The fishing season hasn't opened and a fisherman who doesn't have a license, is casting for trout as a stranger approaches and asks "Any luck?" "Any luck? This is a wonderful spot. I took 10 out of this stream yesterday" he boasts. "Is that so? By the way, do you know who I am?" asks the stranger. "Nope." "Well, meet the new game warden." "Oh," gulped the fisherman. "Well, do you know who I am?" "Nope". "Meet the biggest liar in the state."
This is the joke from a category: Fishing jokes

Fishing jokes An Irish priest loved to fly fish, it was an obsession of his. So far this year the weather had been so bad that he hadn't had a chance to get his beloved wadders on and his favourite flies out of their box Strangly though, every Sunday the weather had been good, but of course Sunday is the day he has to go to work. The weather forcast was good again for the coming Sunday so he called a fellow priest claiming to have lost his voice and be in bed with the flu. He asked him to take over his sermon. The fly fishing priest drove fifty miles to a river near the coast so that no one would recognise him. An angel up in Heaven was keeping watch and saw what the priest was doing. He told God who agreed that he would do something about it. With the first cast of his line a huge fish mouth gulped down the fly. For over an hour the priest ran up and down the river bank fighting the fish. At the end when he finally landed the monster size fish it turned out to be a world record Salmon. Confused the angel asked God, "Why did you let him catch that huge fish? I thought you were going to teach him a lesson." God replied "I did. Who do you think he's going to tell?"
This is the joke from a category: Fishing jokes

Fishing jokes One day a rather inebriated ice fisherman drilled a hole in the ice and peered into the hole and a loud voice said, "There are no fish down there." He walked several yards away and drilled another hole and peered into the hole and again the voice said, "There's no fish down there." He then walked about 50 yards away and drilled another hole and again the voice said, "There's no fish down there." He looked up into the sky and asked, "God, is that you?" "No, you idiot," the voice said, "it's the rink manager."
This is the joke from a category: Fishing jokes