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Best quotes to send by SMS
Results! Why, man, I have gotten a lot of results. I know several thousand things that won't work.Author: Thomas A. Edison
I am just going outside and may be some time.Author: Captain Lawrence Oates
Riches do not delight us so much with their possession, as torment us with their loss.Author: Dick Gregory
Ritual is the way you carry the presence of the sacred. Ritual is the spark that must not go out.Author: Christina Baldwin
Romance is dead. It was acquired in a hostile takeover by Hallmark and Disney, homogenized, and sold off piece by piece.Author: Matt Groening
The best jokes to send by SMS
What did the farmer say when he lost his
tractor
?
Wheres my tractor!This is the joke from a category: Farmer jokes
How does the pig farmer get to the fair?
He
rides piggyback.This is the joke from a category: Farmer jokes
The fishing season hasn't opened and a
fisherman who doesn't have a license, is casting for trout as a
stranger approaches and asks "Any luck?"
"Any luck? This is a
wonderful spot. I took 10 out of this stream
yesterday" he boasts.
"Is that so? By the way, do you know who I am?" asks the stranger.
"Nope."
"Well, meet the new game warden."
"Oh,"
gulped the fisherman. "Well, do you know who I am?"
"Nope".
"Meet the biggest liar in the state."This is the joke from a category: Fishing jokes
An Irish priest loved to fly
fish, it was
an obsession of his. So far this year the weather had been so
bad
that he hadn't had a chance to get his beloved wadders on and his
favourite flies out of their box
Strangly though, every Sunday
the weather had been good, but of course
Sunday is the day he has to
go to work.
The weather forcast was good again for the coming
Sunday so he called a
fellow priest claiming to have lost his voice
and be in bed with the
flu. He asked him to take over his
sermon.
The fly fishing priest drove fifty miles to a river near the coast
so
that no one would recognise him. An angel up in Heaven was
keeping watch
and saw what the priest was doing. He told God who agreed
that he would
do something about it.
With the first cast of
his line a huge fish mouth gulped down the fly.
For over an hour
the priest ran up and down the river bank fighting the
fish. At
the end when he finally landed the monster size fish it turned
out
to be a world record Salmon.
Confused the angel asked God, "Why
did you let him catch that huge
fish? I thought you were going to
teach him a lesson."
God replied "I did. Who do you think he's
going to tell?"This is the joke from a category: Fishing jokes
One day a rather inebriated ice fisherman
drilled a
hole in the ice and peered into the hole and a loud voice
said, "There
are no fish down there."
He walked several yards
away and drilled another hole and peered into
the hole and again the
voice said, "There's no fish down there."
He then walked about
50 yards away and drilled another hole and again
the voice said,
"There's no fish down there."
He looked up into the sky and
asked, "God, is that you?"
"No, you idiot," the voice said, "it's
the rink manager."This is the joke from a category: Fishing jokes