Seeing a murder on television... can help work off one's antagonisms. And if you haven't any antagonisms, the commercials will give you some.
Author: Alfred Hitchcock

I no doubt deserved my enemies, but I don't believe I deserved my friends.
Author: Walt Whitman

There is one rule for the industrialist and that is: Make the best quality of goods possible at the lowest cost possible, paying the highest wages possible.
Author: Henry Ford

Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
Author: Bible

There is only one way to defeat the enemy, and that is to write as well as one can. The best argument is an undeniably good book.
Author: Saul Bellow

A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait. Once the test was over, the students all handed the tests back in. The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying "A dollar per point." The next class the professor handed the tests back out. This student got back his test and $56 change.
This is the joke from a category: School jokes

Man: "How's your history paper coming?" Woman: "Well, my history professor suggested that I use the Internet for research, and it's been very helpful. Man: "Really?" Woman: "Yes! I've already located 17 people who sell them!"
This is the joke from a category: School jokes

A teacher was having trouble teaching arithmetic to one little boy. So she said, "if you reached in your right pocket and found a nickel, and you reached in your left pocket and found another one, what would you have?" "Somebody else's pants."
This is the joke from a category: School jokes

"If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up" said the sarcastic teacher. After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet. "Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?" enquired the teacher with a sneer. "Well, actually I don't," said the student, "but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself."
This is the joke from a category: School jokes

How many schoolteachers does it take to change a light bulb? None. Anything not completed during the lesson is added to the homework.
This is the joke from a category: School jokes