There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all.
Author: Peter Drucker

There is only one difference between a madman and me. I am not mad.
Author: Salvador Dali

There is only one thing a philosopher can be relied upon to do, and that is to contradict other philosophers.
Author: William James

Isn't it interesting that the same people who laugh at science fiction listen to weather forecasts and economists?
Author: Kelvin Throop III

There is surely a piece of divinity in us, something that was before the elements, and owes no homage unto the sun.
Author: Sir Thomas Browne

Teacher: "Sam, what is the outside of a tree called?" Sam: "I don't know." Teacher: "Bark, Sam, bark." Sam: "Bow, wow, wow!"
This is the joke from a category: School jokes

"Isn't the principal a dummy!" said a boy to a girl. "Say, do you know who I am?" asked the girl. "No." "I'm the principal's daughter." "And do you know who I am?" asked the boy. "No," she replied. "Thank goodness!"
This is the joke from a category: School jokes

How many students does it take to change a light bulb? None. Light bulb changing isn't in the course notes.
This is the joke from a category: School jokes

Teacher: Didn't you know the bell had gone? Fred: I didn't take it, Miss.
This is the joke from a category: School jokes

Boy to Friend: I'm sorry, I won't be able to go out after school. I promised Dad that I would stay in and help him with my homework.
This is the joke from a category: School jokes