I never vote for anyone; I always vote against.
Author: W. C. Fields

It is a very sad thing that nowadays there is so little useless information.
Author: Oscar Wilde

I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it.
Author: Harry S Truman

There is only one admirable form of the imagination: the imagination that is so intense that it creates a new reality, that it makes things happen.
Author: Sean O'Faolain

There is only one success - to be able to spend your life in your own way.
Author: Christopher Morley

Why do teachers use a bamboo cane? Because when the cane goes 'bam' the child goes boo!
This is the joke from a category: School jokes

A linguistics professor was lecturing to his English class one day. "In English," he said, "A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative." A voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."
This is the joke from a category: School jokes

A student comes to a young professor's office hours. She glances down the hall, closes his door, kneels pleadingly. "I would do anything to pass this exam." She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes. "I mean..." she whispers, "...I would do...anything." He returns her gaze. "Anything?" "Anything." His voice softens. "Anything??" "Absolutely anything." His voice turns to a whisper. "Would you...study?"
This is the joke from a category: School jokes

A little girl came home from school and said to her mother, "Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn't do." The mother exclaimed, "But that's terrible! I'm going to have a talk with your teacher about this ... by the way, what was it that you didn't do?" The little girl replied, "My homework."
This is the joke from a category: School jokes

Teacher: Johnny, you know you can't sleep in my class. Johnny: I know. But maybe if you were just a little quieter, I could.
This is the joke from a category: School jokes