Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance.
Author: Sam Brown

There is not any memory with less satisfaction than the memory of some temptation we resisted.
Author: James Branch Cabell

There is nothing like a newborn baby to renew your spirit - and to buttress your resolve to make the world a better place.
Author: Virginia Kelley

I never vote for anyone; I always vote against.
Author: W. C. Fields

It is a very sad thing that nowadays there is so little useless information.
Author: Oscar Wilde

Why was the headmaster worried? Because there were too many rulers in school!
This is the joke from a category: School jokes

Teacher: I hope I didn't see you looking at Fred's test paper. Pupil: I hope you didn't see me either!
This is the joke from a category: School jokes

Dad, can you help me find the lowest common denominator in this problem please? Don't tell me that they haven't found it yet, I remember looking for it when I was a boy!
This is the joke from a category: School jokes

Teacher: Did your parents help you with these homework problems? Pupil: No I got them all wrong by myself!
This is the joke from a category: School jokes

What are you going to be when you get out of school? An old man!
This is the joke from a category: School jokes