The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
Author: Samuel Johnson

If thou are a master, be sometimes blind; if a servant, sometimes deaf.
Author: Thomas Fuller

In case you're worried about what's going to become of the younger generation, it's going to grow up and start worrying about the younger generation.
Author: Roger Allen

I can't complain, but sometimes I still do.
Author: Joe Walsh

There is so much good in the worst of us, And so much bad in the best of us, That it hardly behooves any of us To talk about the rest of us.
Author: Edward Wallis Hoch

"Dad, can you write in the dark?" "I think so. What is it you want me to write?" "Your name on this report card."
This is the joke from a category: School jokes

The teacher is droning away in the classroom when he notices a student sleeping way up in the back row. The teacher shouts to the sleeping student's neighbor, "Hey wake that student up!" The neighbor yells back, "You put him to sleep, you wake him up!"
This is the joke from a category: School jokes

A little kid's in school, taking a true-false test and he's flipping a coin. At the end of the test he's flipping the coin again. The teacher says, "What are you doing?" He says, "Checking my answers."
This is the joke from a category: School jokes

A school teacher injured his back and had to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body. He wore it under his shirt and it was not noticeable at all. On the first day of the term, still with the cast under his shirt, he found himself assigned to the toughest class in the school. Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, he opened the window as wide as possible and then busied himself with desk work. The classroom became a bit unruly and he admonished them. This happened several times. While working at his desk, the strong breeze from the window made his tie flap annoyingly. He kept rearranging and rearranging the tie as the class become more and more unmanageable. Finally, becoming disgusted with the wayward tie, he stood up and took a big stapler off his desk and stapled the tie to his chest in several places. Discipline was not a problem from that day forth.
This is the joke from a category: School jokes

Teacher: What happened to your homework? Pupil: I made it into a paper plane and someone hijacked it.
This is the joke from a category: School jokes