I beseech you, in the bowels of Christ, think it possible you may be mistaken.
Author: Oliver Cromwell

There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all.
Author: Peter Drucker

There is only one difference between a madman and me. I am not mad.
Author: Salvador Dali

There is only one thing a philosopher can be relied upon to do, and that is to contradict other philosophers.
Author: William James

Isn't it interesting that the same people who laugh at science fiction listen to weather forecasts and economists?
Author: Kelvin Throop III

One day our professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept. A pre-med student rudely interrupted to ask, "Why do we have to learn this pointless information" "To save lives." the professor responded quickly and continued the lecture. A few minutes later, the same student spoke up again. "So how does physics save lives?" he persisted. "It keeps the ignoramuses like you out of medical school," replied the professor.
This is the joke from a category: School jokes

A mom and dad were worried about their son not wanting to learn math at the school he was in, so they decided to send him to a Catholic school. After the first day of school, their son comes racing into the house, goes straight into his room and slams the door shut. Mom and dad are a little worried about this and go to his room to see if he is okay. They find him sitting at his desk doing his homework. The boy keeps doing that for the rest of the year. At the end of the year the son brings home his report card and gives it to his mom and dad. Looking at it they see under math an A+. Mom and dad are very happy and ask the son, "What changed your mind about learning math?" The son looked at mom and dad and said, "Well, on the first day when I walked into the classroom, I saw a guy nailed to the plus sign at the back of the room behind the teacher's desk and I knew they meant business."
This is the joke from a category: School jokes

Teacher: "Sam, what is the outside of a tree called?" Sam: "I don't know." Teacher: "Bark, Sam, bark." Sam: "Bow, wow, wow!"
This is the joke from a category: School jokes

"Isn't the principal a dummy!" said a boy to a girl. "Say, do you know who I am?" asked the girl. "No." "I'm the principal's daughter." "And do you know who I am?" asked the boy. "No," she replied. "Thank goodness!"
This is the joke from a category: School jokes

How many students does it take to change a light bulb? None. Light bulb changing isn't in the course notes.
This is the joke from a category: School jokes