In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
Author: George Orwell

Seeing a murder on television... can help work off one's antagonisms. And if you haven't any antagonisms, the commercials will give you some.
Author: Alfred Hitchcock

I no doubt deserved my enemies, but I don't believe I deserved my friends.
Author: Walt Whitman

There is one rule for the industrialist and that is: Make the best quality of goods possible at the lowest cost possible, paying the highest wages possible.
Author: Henry Ford

Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
Author: Bible

Pupil: I don't think I deserved zero on this test! Teacher: I agree, but that's the lowest mark I could give you!
This is the joke from a category: School jokes

Sandy began a job as an elementary school counselor and she was eager to help. One day during recess she noticed a girl standing by herself on one side of a playing field while the rest of the kids enjoyed a game of soccer at the other. Sandy approached and asked if she was all right. The girl said she was. A little while later, however, Sandy noticed the girl was in the same spot, still by herself. Approaching again, Sandy offered, "Would you like me to be your friend?" The girl hesitated, then said, "Okay," looking at the woman suspiciously. Feeling she was making progress, Sandy then asked, "Why are you standing here all alone?" "Because," the little girl said with great exasperation, "I'm the goalie!"
This is the joke from a category: School jokes

A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait. Once the test was over, the students all handed the tests back in. The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying "A dollar per point." The next class the professor handed the tests back out. This student got back his test and $56 change.
This is the joke from a category: School jokes

Man: "How's your history paper coming?" Woman: "Well, my history professor suggested that I use the Internet for research, and it's been very helpful. Man: "Really?" Woman: "Yes! I've already located 17 people who sell them!"
This is the joke from a category: School jokes

A teacher was having trouble teaching arithmetic to one little boy. So she said, "if you reached in your right pocket and found a nickel, and you reached in your left pocket and found another one, what would you have?" "Somebody else's pants."
This is the joke from a category: School jokes