There is no other way of guarding oneself against flattery than by letting men understand that they will not offend you by speaking the truth; but when everyone can tell you the truth, you lose their respect.
Author: Niccolo Machiavelli

There is no reciprocity. Men love women, women love children, children love hamsters.
Author: Alice Thomas Ellis

There is no security on this earth, there is only opportunity.
Author: General Douglas MacArthur

So many of our dreams at first seem impossible, then they seem improbable, and then, when we summon the will, they soon become inevitable.
Author: Christopher Reeve

It's a shallow life that doesn't give a person a few scars.
Author: Garrison Keillor

Why did the teacher put the lights on? Because the class was so dim!
This is the joke from a category: School jokes

Where did all the cuts and blood come from? The school went on a trip!
This is the joke from a category: School jokes

Why aren't you doing very well in history? Because the teacher keeps asking about things that happened before I was born!
This is the joke from a category: School jokes

Where did the pilgrims land when they came to America? On their feet!
This is the joke from a category: School jokes

Teacher: What are the Great Plains? Pupil: 747, Concorde and F-16!
This is the joke from a category: School jokes