Best Cell Phones

I have a hundred times wished that one could resign life as an officer resigns a commission.
Author: Robert Burns

That man is the richest whose pleasures are the cheapest.
Author: Henry David Thoreau

If I had my life to live over... I'd dare to make more mistakes next time.
Author: Nadine Stair

Like its politicians and its wars, society has the teenagers it deserves.
Author: J. B. Priestley

That's the way things come clear. All of a sudden. And then you realize how obvious they've been all along.
Author: Madeleine L'Engle

Two flies were on a cornflakes packet. "Why are we running so fast?" asked one. "Because," said the second, "it says 'tear along the dotted line'!"
This is the joke from a category: Food jokes

Fred! What did I say I'd do if I found you with your fingers in the butter again? That's funny, Mom. I can't remember either.
This is the joke from a category: Food jokes

Flo: Try some of my sponge cake. Joe: It's a bit tough. Flo: That's strange. I only bought the sponge from the chemist this morning.
This is the joke from a category: Food jokes

Fred: I thought there was a choice for lunch today. . Cook: There is. Fred: No, there isn't. There's only cheese pie. Cook: You can choose to eat it or leave it.
This is the joke from a category: Food jokes

Boy: What's black, slimy, with hairy legs and eyes on stalks? Mom: Eat the cookies and don't worry about what's in the tin.
This is the joke from a category: Food jokes