Best Cell Phones

I learned long ago never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.
Author: Cyrus Ching

I like rice. Rice is great if you're hungry and want 2000 of something.
Author: Mitch Hedberg

I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.
Author: Jerome K. Jerome

I lived what most people call the good life. I was happy, but deep inside I always felt that, with the short amount of time we are given to live and love in this world, we spend too much time loving things instead of people.
Author: Antonia Brenner

I looked always outside of myself to see what I could make the world give me instead of looking within myself to see what was there.
Author: Belle Livingstone

What happened to Ray when he met the man-eating monster? He became an ex-Ray.
This is the joke from a category: Monster jokes

What aftershave do monsters wear? Brute.
This is the joke from a category: Monster jokes

A monster walked into the council rent office with a $5 note stuck in one ear and a $10 note in the other. You see, he was $15 in arrears.
This is the joke from a category: Monster jokes

Why did Frankenstein's monster give up boxing? Because he didn't want to spoil his looks.
This is the joke from a category: Monster jokes

What did Dr Frankenstein get when he put his goldfish's brain in the body of his dog? I don't know, but it is great at chasing submarines.
This is the joke from a category: Monster jokes