Best Cell Phones

His enemies shall lick the dust.
Author: Bible

His life was gentle; and the elements So mixed in him, that Nature might stand up, And say to all the world, THIS WAS A MAN!
Author: William Shakespeare

His priority did not seem to be to teach them what he knew, but rather to impress upon them that nothing, not even... knowledge, was foolproof.
Author: J. K. Rowling

History is indeed little more than the register of the crimes, follies and misfortunes of mankind.
Author: Edward Gibbon

History is the short trudge from Adam to atom.
Author: Leonard Louis Levinson

You know the honeymoon is pretty much over when you start to go out with the boys on Wednesday nites, and so does she.
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes

This man was sitting quietly reading his paper one morning, peacefully enjoying himself, when his wife sneaks up behind him and wacks him on the back of his head with a huge frying pan. Man: "What was that for?" Wife: "What was that piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name Marylou written on it?" Man: "Oh honey, remember two weeks ago when I went to the horse races? Marylou was the name of one of the horses I bet on." The wife looked all satisfied and goes off to work around the house. Three days later he is once again sitting in his chair reading and she repeats the frying pan swatting. Man: "What the hell was that for this time?" Wife: "Your horse called."
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes

A man brings his wife a glass of water and two aspirins. She looks surprised and says, I don't have a headache!" He says, "Aha!"
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes

Playboy is coming out with a new magazine for men who are married. Every month the centerfold is the exact same woman.
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes

The sailor came home from a secret two year mission only to find his wife with a new born baby. Furious, he was determined to track down the father to extract revenge. "Was it my friend Sam", he demanded. "No !" his weeping wife replied. "Was it my friend Jim then?" he asked. "NO !!!" she said even more upset. "Well which one of my no good friends did this then?" he asked. "Don't you think I have any friends of my own?" she snapped.
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes